A reflection to My Younger Self
When I reflect on the conditioning of my younger self, I can see that I was surviving on scraps.
Scraps of attention and love.
To the point where I believed that was all I deserved.
My upbringing lacked warmth and safety.
I unconsciously held on to so much less than what I deserved in my adulthood because of it.
Making sense of the pain and trauma was not enough.
I had to take a hard look at my life and the conditioning I grew up with to really start understanding myself.
Once I became aware of my unconscious beliefs, I was able to actively work on healing my own trauma wounds.
In the process of forgiving myself, I learned it was also my job to heal myself.
I should not expect the person who broke me to put those pieces back together.
They cannot heal me.
We may want them to acknowledge what they’ve done.
To tell us that they hurt us.
That they feel terrible for what they did.
But it is not what we need.
We need to forgive ourselves for putting up with less than what we deserve.
So ask yourself.
Do you really need the person that hurt you to tell you they hurt you?
Do you really need them to tell you how painful it was and give you permission to feel it?
You know exactly how painful it was when you experienced it.
So why would you trust them to rebuild you when they used their power to destroy you?
Your pain will not go away even when they acknowledge it.
Don’t focus your healing on making sense of why someone would want to cause you pain.
Getting stuck trying to make sense of it is a form of resistance.
Accepting the pain is a part of healing and self-forgiveness.
Because forgiveness is personal.
It is about releasing yourself.
Knowing that deep within, you’re worthy of love, kindness, and respect, even if the person who hurt you may never acknowledge it.
So I invite you to welcome the pain.
Sit with it.
Understand it, and then let it leave.
Remember, You are worth it.
We can always do better.
So let’s do better in Web3 together.
*This article was adapted from a Twitter thread by ms. Joe*
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