How things started - How they progressed - Where I am now - What I learned?
I aim to;
To increase awareness and understanding of mental health
To share my experience in the hope, someone, in a similar situation resonates with it and it helps them somehow
Alright, let’s get into it!
In September 2020, I experienced difficulty breathing. I didn’t even consider it to be a mental health issue. It just felt like a blocked nose/throat to me. So I went to the Dr seeking some form of physical treatment to alleviate the issue with no success.
In October 2020, I had my first panic attack in bed. My legs/body were uncontrollably shaking, and my partner called an ambulance, thinking I was fitting. This was terrifying as I had no control over my body. Still, at no point did I consider it a mental health issue.
The paramedics said it was likely a panic attack, which left me a little confused as I didn’t feel I was hyperventilating, which I had always associated with panic attacks before this. This planted the seed that my physical symptoms may result from mental struggles.
My next panic attack was whilst driving along the motorway roughly 20 mins after leaving my house. I lost feeling in my feet, had cold sweats, a tight chest, felt disconnected from my body, and had the overwhelming urge to just get out of the car as fast as I could.
Alongside the attacks, I was struggling with general panic symptoms every day. This began to affect my work, I was struggling to run meetings due to breathing issues, and the panic symptoms were so tiring that I had to sleep for an hour most afternoons to get through the day.
At this point, I accepted the idea that my symptoms were a result of struggles with mental health. I reached out to my doctor, who prescribed me medication and referred me to the NHS mental health services for a proper diagnosis and plan.
I had a call with a mental health professional who ran through various questionnaires with me. It was then suggested that I was struggling with panic disorder and was put on the wait list for low-intensity cognitive behavioural therapy.
In the meantime, I reached out to my work mental health services and started weekly therapy for 6-8 weeks. This gave me an outlet to verbalise and begin understanding what may be causing my struggles.
By the time NHS mental health got back to me, my fear of traveling in cars had become debilitating to the point where I had to psych myself up to even be a passenger in a car on a 20-minute journey. Every time I got in a car, I experienced some form of panic symptoms.
I completed the low-intensity CBT but didn’t feel it helped me particularly. My questionnaire results reflected this, and I was put back on the NHS list to receive high-intensity CBT. I also experienced some nasty side effects from my medication, so I had to switch to a new one.
By March 2021 my partner and I were starting to look at houses to get on the property ladder. Getting to viewings and general house-buying stresses weren’t helping with the mental health struggles.
In October 2021, I moved into my new house and started high-intensity CBT with a qualified practitioner. This was a significantly better experience, and I started to feel like I was making progress. CBT, by nature, is quite daunting as you have to face things head-on.
By the time I completed the CBT, I was comfortable driving for a couple of hours. I was still experiencing the odd panic symptom, but I was in control and able to manage. My day-to-day life had improved hugely, and I was no longer needing sleep due to panic symptom fatigue.
Fast forward to now, I drive every day without any panic symptoms. I’m still a little nervous if I know I have a long journey, but it’s manageable. I rarely experience any panic symptoms; when I do, they are mild. I’m still on medication for now.
This experience has taught me more than I’d be able to get down here, but I’ll pick out a few of the highlights below;
A large portion of my mental health issues can be attributed to the coronavirus, the lockdowns, and the change in lifestyle that came with that. Often with mental health, everything feels fine until it isn’t! It very much is the straw that broke the camel's back.
As humans, we often overestimate the level of danger we are in and underestimate our ability to cope due to our cavemen's brains operating the fight/flight response.
Until you experience mental health struggles yourself, it’s very hard to comprehend and relate with those who are struggling. What I went through, I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Medication and CBT were very helpful, although both made things worse before they got better (especially the first 10 days of the meds).
For me, nasal sticks helped to slow/stop the progression of panic symptoms to panic attacks. EFT tapping is another mechanism I would use to alleviate panic symptoms/attacks.
If you have any questions feel free to ask, and I’ll answer. My DMs are also open if you’d like to speak in private.
*This article was adapted from a Twitter thread by Magad00p*
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